I’m no longer a slave to fear


I’ve been away from the blog for months.  Mainly because I needed to take a breather.  But don’t fear…. I’m back. 🙂

Since my hiatus, I’ve tried my hand at dating once again…only to be disappointed time and time again.  So, dating is on the back burner.  I deleted all of those crappy dating apps from my iPhone and I’m choosing to fill my time with something else.   This something else is way more fulfilling and fruitful than dating could ever be.  

Well, what is it?  I’ve decided to give church and God another chance.  I’ve always believed in God, but going to church gave me a negative vibe.  I can’t pinpoint exactly why I feel that way, but I’m socially awkward anyway so that doesn’t help.  

To make a short story short, I felt like I was knee deep in mud.   Everything around me was a mess.  I was going to bars to find fun and happiness.  While it was fun at the time, I didn’t like who I was becoming.  My life felt like it didn’t have a purpose and I just felt empty inside.   And I definitely didn’t want to chase after guys that didn’t want me.

This past Sunday, I felt a strong urge to go to church.  So I got up, took a shower, and went to church.   I made it just in time for the service to start.   The worship leaders were singing No Longer Slaves and during this song, I felt a voice speak to my soul saying You are lost….  I’m like woah, that didn’t come from my head.  I could feel my eyes well up with tears but I held it together.   

And then during the service, the pastor said something that punched me hard in the stomach:  Prolonged personal sin takes a toll on God’s work in your life.  Right then, I felt so convicted because that statement was so true.  I knew that I needed to change my lifestyle and follow God more obediently.

So that’s what I’m doing.  I’m going to church, reading the Bible, and even took it a step further by joining a Life Group.   I’m allowing God to mold me into who He wants me to be without getting in His way.   

Love & Light,